Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Christmas Miracle & Another Roll

I must confess I was incredibly horny by the time Mr. Maus arrived on Christmas Eve. I maintained serious willpower to not rip his clothes off as soon as I saw him. He'd already had a really long day, well week, and I wanted him to have the energy to play along with me, so I waited him out. Although we managed to squeak out his long awaited orgasm. I was way too horny to play any reindeer games, I wanted an orgasm promptly and I was gonna make it happen with pressing swiftness. I figure we have LOTS of time to get into mind fuckery. 

This was our first Christmas together and the holiday was perfectly awesomesauce. We slept late, cooked lots of ridiculous food and ate damn near all of it, went to a movie (The Artist) then came home and watched another movie (Down With Love) staying up late and then he was too tired for reindeer games and went to sleep (which is reasonable, it was 5am or some such). I might consider pushing in the future, he does want to be objectified and if I want to fuck, then I get to fuck according to the agreement we have. I may be too considerate ;-)
We did a new dice roll with the added rule of not revealing how long he'll be locked. I like this variable, I think it makes my thoughts a little more devious. I still haven't wrapped him in cling wrap like I wanted to recently, I have lots and lots of duct tape with his name on it, as well I brought some plaster home from school to play at some encapsulation (not enough to get into too much trouble though). I have begun looking for more challenging tease materials for him which has been fun for me =)
As we move to the New Year he again has a busy week having just moved house and planning a NYE party in the new place. I'm going to help whip that joint into shape! For the sake of the party I think we're just shoving stuff into corners but afterwards it'll be the new place with no roommates or pesky cats to affect the moods of love.

Here's to fresh beginnings!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Maybe New Years?

The last few weeks have been nutty for the Mr and I, for a variety of different reasons. We haven't spent a ton of time together and we've both been incapacitated either with a laundry list of things to do or ... I keep messing up my neck/back working on art projects (at least they've been for good reason). I've also had another surprisingly short menstrual cycle taking all of the fun out of being a girl. Today is the first day in a couple of weeks that I have felt even the tiniest stirring in my nether regions, my neck and back pain must be backing off some if I'm feeling randy.  I might see Mr. Maus tonight for a little bit if he gives himself a break. I very likely won't see him until Sunday when I expect he'll be wiped out from work and work and more work.  That load is due to end very soon.  As of today he's been locked for 33 days, he will likely be locked for a few more days just as a matter of timing. At this point Christmas day may be spent zonked out on the couch rather than having athletic sex and multiple orgasms. Well I guess that would be me having the athletic sex and multiple orgasms, I usually have him fairly well restrained. Perhaps we'll have to push it out to New Years. I don't really want to push it it that long, but we may have to. I'm just hoping that I don't screw up my back doing something completely innocuous or have another erratic out of cycle period. One week is certainly long enough for me to muster up some kind of calamity. 

Mr. Maus reports that's just about lost his mind. Experiencing erections and near accidental ejaculations from even the most whimsical thought. Poor baby, it would suck to have to suffer the consequences of an accidental emission at this late stage, perhaps another 22 days seems like nothing after overshooting the original date by 11 days already.

Neither of us anticipated winding it out this long. Not on purpose anyway. Funnily enough, when we began with the dice game the possibility of rolling a 36 made him whimper, and here he's almost surpassed the longest possible roll. 


Friday, December 16, 2011

Come and Gone

Finals week is over!  School is out for a month and I am so ready for the break, (now it's time to catch up on sleep). Mr Mause worked a double the other night and then came to my place to spend the night as we had a daytime date for my birthday.  Brunch out and a matinee was the most perfect way to spend the day.  Turning 43 doesn't warrant much fanfare really.

I had planned on giving Mr. Maus his overdue orgasm but the stars were not aligned, in fact they are completely out of whack.  Last week while I was working on one of my final art projects I incurred some gnarly muscle strain in my neck from working in a funny posture and repetitive motion in said funny posture which has affected my ability to do, well, anything without a lot of scary neck pain. So instead of me working him over, Mr. Maus gave me a massage. I understand he wasn't really in the mood either, with extra work and his move (which hasn't happened yet) being very stressful. There are a couple of other cards stacked against an orgasm happening for either of us, however these two examples are the most relevant. If I had full use of all of my faculties I would have tried to push him out of his head and back into his body for a while to give him a break from his stressors. 

Mr. Maus is now at 28 days and it is looking like it will be Christmas (35 days) before we see each other again where there will be a possibility of him achieving an orgasm.  This roll of the dice has gone from 22 days to 35 at least.  At this point it truly is unpredictable. 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Keeping it Simple

Sometimes the simple things are the best. 

After a late start last night, getting to bed at 2am and a busy day for both of us today, we established a shorter than usual sexy-time session, I set an alarm for 3 hours. THREE HOURS? Yes, that's a short period of time for us. It's kind of hard to get wound up, warmed up and, sufficiently take care of business in just 3 hours. With such a limited time frame I thought to keep it simple by not getting into bondage or crazy restraints and stuck with teasing by way of plain ol' vanilla sex with the twist of denial.

We started with my orgasm, with considerably less alcohol than last week but probably still too much, an orgasm was achievable. I'm getting better at managing to speak while he's going down on me, usually I'm too into my body to give direction but I managed to string some syllables together that must have sounded like something to go on; he got me very close at which point I added my trusty vibrator to the mix to take it all the way home. I think my lyrical, informal research on my own orgasm control, denial and no touching or masturbation is demonstrating that all of it works on me too. As much as I hate the idea of exchanging my lover giving me an orgasm every week for the incredible frustration of denial - the orgasms I have after a long denial are amazing and they seem to get incrementally better the longer I go between orgasms. Mr. Maus, lets talk about making this game mutual somehow.
Anyhoodle, as we were into it I was thinking, for a guy who likes to pull out the stops for freaky-deaky heavy bondage he is really getting into this vanilla business. Well, not entirely vanilla I suppose, maybe an exotic bourbon vanilla. After some p-spot massage I inserted our largest plug into him and then as they say in the land if my people, 'I fucked the shit out of him'. He was amusingly talkative saying things like "I don't think I can hold it for another week" but he was a very good boy and managed to contain himself when I had another orgasm while riding his cock. My favorite utterance of the night was, "I can't wait to do this every day." Awww Mr. that's so sweet! (I nuzzled his neck and breathed in the smell of him in that moment to lock that sweetness into my memory.) If we did do that every day, I still won't let you cum, I love it all too much. How will we ever get out of the house?
I'm of the mind to think that exotic bourbon vanilla penetrative sex might be the most cruel form of denial ever. Mr. Maus seemed to be really struggling with control. Poor booboo, maybe next week.
As he was leaving today, we were fiddling with keys (I loaned him my truck), I discovered a key to his chastity lock on his keyring. Dude! In all fairness he was unaware that it was there, or what it went to. I tested the key to confirm and then took it from him to "safety seal". I've placed it in a tiny envelope, initialed and sealed with wax. it'll easily live in his wallet with no hindrance or impedance to his daily life. He has stated that there was a time or two he felt like he needed an emergency key because of pain he was experiencing at the time. Mr. Maus is a bicycle commuter, presently our region is experiencing below freezing temperatures, brr brr brr. Perhaps I'll make him a fleece ball warmer to wear for commuting <snicker>.

Emergency key security envelope, 1.5 inches square. Tiny!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

No Telling!

I've been hearing Mr. Maus say that he likes the idea of the unpredictability and, the randomness of the dice game. He has said it enough times that I thought it warranted some consideration and so proposed to him that I do all of the dice rolling and not reveal when he's to be unlocked.  I also suggested that we do a different roll to determine how long he'll be free after a chastity cycle, but he's not so into that one - he said if it can be hours rather than days then he'd go for it.  I'm considering it.  

I'm still wrapping my head around and accepting the denial part of this game. I like to make him cum. I like to bear witness to the wonderful majesty of a man rapt in the throws of an orgasm. I love to hear the hints of panic as he declares "I'm gonna cum!" And then blam-O!  I think it's some other-envy. I don't cum that hard and I wish like hell that I did. To be honest I always wondered why a guy would bother to say he's about to cum... now I understand it's to be told "no don't, not yet" oh if only I'd learned that lesson 20 years ago.

I pick up Mr. Maus later tonight for our regular date night. I haven't given any thought whatsoever to what I'm going to do with him ;-) If he's good and he gives me an orgasm this week, I'll edge him for a (long) while. I love that game. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Forbidden Fruit

I think the first time he locked himself for me, I didn't know until much later that night. I did notice that he was more playful in spirit and action and thought to myself, 'wow, what's gotten into him, he's delightful tonight'. We had attended a friends house warming party, it was one of the few times we've gone out to be social with friends, (our relationship is new, we've only known each other since May 2011), so I don't have much of a social meter for him, but he seemed effervescent.  When we got back to my place he was very attentive to me, kissing my neck, petting my back, huggy, big smiles and giggles and come to think of it I think he fixed something in my kitchen that night. 

When it was time to get busy he seemed apprehensive about getting all the way undressed. If I recall correctly, and I may not, I encouraged him to drop trou and join me in bed. This is when he revealed that he was locked in chastity. I'd never seen anything like it. I was fascinated. My first reactions were something to the tune of "quick lets get you out of there!" thinking the device was a painful trap of some kind. I asked for the keys to the lock so that I could release him from this obvious torture device.

Unlocking Mr. Maus for the first time was magical, I was confounded by how his beautiful engorged cock could fit into the small device. When I removed the lock and released the grip of the cage, it was like peeling fruit that grows before your eyes! Everything about his cock was a little different, it was a little moist, he quickly had a raging hard on with amazing surface tension and he exhibited a greater depth of sensitivity to my touch.  My first instincts were to wrap my hand around him and pet him, then kiss it to welcome it back into the world, sooth the savageness of being locked into chastity and to make up for it's imprisonment by inviting him into me.

I get very excited about seeing him so that I can fondle and cajole him, peel his clothes off and rub myself on him. I am so completely and totally turned on by him that I can't keep myself off of him. "Climb him like a jungle gym" comes to mind.  And I really enjoy unwrapping the secret toy surprise in the box. 

Pushing It To 27 Days

We just added five days Mr. Maus's time locked in chastity.

When he rolled a 22 last time, he was slated to be released on the 12th which is a fairly inconvenient day really. I have four final projects due that week, Mr. Maus is moving house on the 14th and since my birthday is on the following Saturday I might as well push his release date back for his maximum enjoyment of the occasion rather than rush it on the 12th for the sake of doing it on the 12th.

In the ten plus years Mr. Maus has been playing with chastity the longest he's reported being locked was eight days, once was the dice roll previous to the 22 and another instance being the duration after handing me the keys, neither of us knew when he'd be unlocked between our busy schedules. Now he's gone from eight to 27 days in one jump. At present he's at 18 days and reports that he's doing just fine as he's got other things of import on his mind.

I have already told him that I've been considering giving him some time out of the cage after his release. That duration is yet to be decided, perhaps we'll do a dice roll to determine that too. He says he likes the unpredictable randomness of the dice.

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Yesterday I neglected to eat. Mr. Maus aka Cabana Boy does a fairly good job of ensuring that I eat, I do not do so well with this task and wold probably starve to death if he didn't remind me. I spent the day engrossed in homework avoidance tactics (looking at naughty pictures on the internet), and thinking about what I was going to do with Mr. Maus when I saw him. Right before I ran out the door to make my way to his place I munched a hunk of cheese, just enough that I wouldn't be cranky and starving until dinner was ready and, I was going to the grocery on the way to his place, going to the store hungry is always a bad idea.. I grabbed a couple bottles of wine and some mixer for the booze we already have, that's where my priorities lay. Did I get food-food? No. By the time we got back to my place, we both wanted a cocktail; Cabana Boy makes stiff drinks! I had one big drink and a glass of wine while making dinner, having eaten nothing more than a hunk of cheese all day got dee-runk quickly.  I'm a tall-ish woman, I'm 42 and a lightly padded athletic person, not light, not heavy, not little, and holy cow I got so tipsy I barely remember the early portion of our evening. 

We talked for a while about a couple of blog posts, yesterdays here (so that he was up to speed on what I was thinking), and one I've been sitting on for a couple of months on my other blog, the topic on the table is significant enough to warrant discussion, the chastity is a game, playing D/s is a game, he is my partner, I love and respect him tremendously. He blessed the post and I published it right then and there. 

After talking I unlocked Mr. Maus and we took a shower together where he shaved my pussy -- that must have brought me back around, as well my dinner  must have soaked into my system as I returned to a buzzed state and stayed there. After the shower I had him to put on a green satin teddy I had laid out for him. I told him to get into a submissive pose - for as kinky and submissive as Mr. Maus is, he has apparently never actually been properly topped for he was unfamiliar with this posture, or he was playing me to show him so that he would do it absolutely correctly -- once in his place before me I asked him to justify his transgressions of the week.  We agreed that independent ass training qualifies and masturbating and, we agreed that he is not allowed to masturbate himself.  While he talked I stroked his cock through the satin of the lingerie, I love watching his body shudder with pleasure under my touch, to hear his breath catch and to see his train of thought derailed is highly amusing and sexy at the same time.  

We also agreed that he owed me at least one orgasm. I fully expected that to be a brief exercise, but  no, no it wasn't. He had me on the edge for what seemed like forever but I didn't orgasm at all, it felt so good I didn't want it to stop, but I was trying to cum, maybe trying too hard. Maybe too tipsy. When we stopped for a break, I looked at the clock when I got up and it was almost 6 am!  He was edging me forever!  SIX in the morning! At that point we called it a night, good college try but too tired to cary on.  

I didn't get to torture him at all! I'm a little sad, I was looking forward to seeing how his independent ass training worked out. I had every intention of stuffing my dirty panties in his mouth, duct taping them in place; cling wrapping his whole body, cutting a hole to pull his cock and balls through and then bending him over to cut a hole for his ass; place a bowl under him; then fisting him until I milked his prostate dry.  I was anxious to hear him whine about feeling like he had to pee so I could tell him to  pee in the bowl. He keeps stopping to use the toilet when I think we're getting somewhere, I want to break him of that so that he learns the different sensations. I wanted to milk him so I can fuck him until I cum. As noted above, that could take hours. Next week I guess.  He's lucky I'm not this mean (NSFW). 

He slept in the green teddy, which I can't imagine was very comfortable. When I woke up today I thought "Man I want to orgasm". I found a pair of scissors and cut the teddy off his body and climbed on top of him to rub my pussy up and down his cock to make it hard so I could fuck him... It was clear his head was somewhere else, distracted by something more powerful than my naked body on top of his. Work. Damnit!  Before he got dressed I handed him a pair of my panties and a bra to wear under his clothes. If he was going to leave me to work on his house then the grip of my dainties was to be wrapped around his balls. 

Back in the cage he goes for another 10 days maybe longer as I'm in the throws of final projects. He is due to come out for an orgasm on the 12th, my last day of finals for the semester is the 16th, my birthday is the 17th, he may just have to wait until the 17th. At that point what is five more days? I, on the other hand may just have to rub one out so that I can focus on my homework rather than obsessing on sex.

When we talked last night he said something I thought was really funny - that he thinks I may be  kinkier than he is, or at least as kinky as he is. I find this amusing because I don't really think of myself as very kinky at all, and I think of him as truly perverted. It's all perspective I guess. 

Friday, December 2, 2011

Tonight tonight! There's only you tonight!

Man, you'd think I was a whiny little bitch for how much of a snot I've been to have my luggage lifted this week. The truth of the matter is that I miss my Cabana Boy and his great service to me when we are together. This week I've experienced (TMI, pfft) a second period in two weeks. The hormonal influx makes me a bit whimpery and desirous of closeness, cuddles and petting.  As horny as we've both been, my interest in spending time with him this week has been wanting for comfort rather than sex. My two big dumb lumps of cats don't even give me the time of day let alone cuddles. 

Tonight I get to see Mr. Maus, I pick him up at 8pm. I have until then to decide what I'm going to do with him.  Due to being bleedy and kind of moody, the game may be a bit more firm, possibly even bordering on cruel. I was planning on milking him, but  I've been seriously considering leaving him locked for our visit - as much as I'd like to let him out so that I may ride my cock, he's not exactly been on the very best of behavior, though with good intentions. He reports that he's been practicing some independent ass training in the better interest of accommodating my full hand. Our rules don't include specifics on masturbation, just that there will be consequences for an "independent accidental emission".  If I were doing what he was doing I would definitely be masturbating - again we don't have rules against masturbating, just orgasm. I may tighten that up a little bit.  I'm not masturbating, perhaps he shouldn't be either. Mr. Maus  says that he hasn't derived much pleasure from his efforts.  Much is some. 

The game and the rules are new and I am disinclined to change them without agreed upon terms.  He did suggest a couple of changes that I feel are worth considering: 1. adding a goal structure e.g. he must give me 100 orgasms before he is allowed to have one and; 2. adding dice rolls for good and bad behavior, time off and time added respectively.  Perhaps an amendment is in order to  update for masturbation and some appropriation of his suggestions.  I'm of the mind to have well defined expectations - it is a personal thing that reaches deep into my psyche, but with this game having undefined expectations could add to the suspense.  

Regardless of whether I let him out or not, milk him or not, I'm very much looking forward to being worshiped for a bit. I want him to shave me, "tantric massage" is in order and he needs to fuck me that's for damn sure, with a strap-on or a sleeve is yet to be decided (unlocked being the deciding factor)... I'm leaning towards whichever will be the most torturous, at the moment that's the mood I'm in.

He could try to brighten my mood with some very compelling begging. I think I'd just like to see that, the effort might be amusing.  
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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Mr. Maus is getting cagey

When Mr. Maus and I parted last Saturday he said something about lifting my luggage Tuesday, I was pretty stoked about that honestly. Frankly I needed some attention right then but had a big pile of homework to get to and he had a lot of work to get done on his house. Tuesday has come and gone. He had proposed a reasonable postponement, a delay I can't see fault in but he did not suggest an alternative. In the last few days he's mentioned that he's eager to be let out of his cage and, stretch out a bit while attending to my needs. Apparently not eager enough to make it happen though. It looks like  it'll be our regular Saturday before we see each other again. That'll be two weeks without much more than a friendly grope. 

I sometimes use our late night chat session as an opportunity to tease him, we swap video links, images and type through scenes, it's great fun as I know he's squirming on the other end.   Last night while we were chatting he sent me a couple of pictures of my cock smooshing out of it's cage. (If I knew how to get them off of my phone I'd share them with you (maybe Mr. Maus can do that for me)). My poor cock! I was instantly compelled to want lick the flesh ballooning through the holes of his CB3K, to kiss my cock to make it feel better. He said that if I got anywhere near him with my tongue he's probably faint. My reaction to that is a desire to train him. With an ice pack! To test his boundaries farther (yes farther). To milk him dry without releasing my cock from it's cage. Once he's been drained then maybe I'll remove the chastity device to torture him wantonly. I have needs. 

He seems hesitant. It seems Mr. Maus might be stringing us along with some denial of his own. He continues to drop hints about extending his stay in his cage. A day here, a couple extra days there, and last night he planted the idea of an accidental emission...
If he has an accidental emission during teasing he will begin the previously determined locked period (by the last dice roll) again, thereby extending his release date. 
Mr. Maus is toying with extending his stay in his cage by another 22 days.  

I'm on to you Mr. Maus. I'm on to you. I'm driving this train babe. You gave me the keys and the control. I decide how much you are to endure, when you cum and how long you'll be locked. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

How Long Ago Was That?

Eight days? It's only been a whisker past a week since Mr. Maus gave me an orgasm and I'm crazy horny. Unfortunately it'll be a couple more days until we see each other again.

As I said in my last post we have spent quite a lot of time together in the last week, the most since we took a trip together at the end of summer (that was two weeks of cabana boy service bliss). But we've been kind of in our own heads with our responsibilities, we had some really nice down time together doing stuff we never get to do like hang out on the couch watching an actual television set and, soaking in a jacuzzi with cocktails talking about art. It was nice that our only focus wasn't sex - I'm usually the driving force behind initiating sex and, oddly I wasn't in the mood to use him, kinda rare.

When I latched onto playing the male chastity game with Mr. Maus I silently vowed to myself that I would cease my own masturbation during the times that we were apart (unless it was to ease cramps or a migraine). Prior to telling him to lock we'd had three weeks of ruined orgasms. This may be fine in his world of kink, but in mine I found it incredibly frustrating, for all the work I was doing to tease, edge,  peg and, play I found that I did have an expectation to be treated to an orgasm. I'm kicking down way more than dinner here!  Denial was not a game I'd been playing and had not considered applying to myself.  I was a little pissed off actually. In the better interest of checking my attitude, I told Mr. Maus to lock and then quietly decided that I would not masturbate or orgasm without him present. I was interested in experimenting with abstaining to see if it made a difference in my own levels of pleasure. I delight in how completely wracked with ecstasy he gets when I play with him. I'm envious of the body state of pleasure he gets into, it's amazing and beautiful to see and feel his body convulse under the anticipation of my touch.  Could I achieve this ecstatic state if I just held off a little?  

Mr. Maus had expressed that he wouldn't be satisfied if I didn't have big obvious orgasms. I tried to convince him that I was indeed having small orgasms, many of them, (prior to the weeks of ruined/denied orgasms just described). He wasn't having it, he expressed a certain pride in rocking my world.  This though, left a lot for me to communicate while in the throws of his awesome touch.  Moreover I'm a heavy vibrator user, shifting gears in my head and body to get off manually was proving to tricky territory, even if it was at the hands of my most desired lover. I assure him that practice and time would lead us to mutual satisfaction. With Mr. Maus locked I knew I'd have his attention to detail; he needs to learn to read me.  

Being the woman I am, a more visual communicator than talker, I set to the world wide web looking for resources I could share with him to express what would very likely give him the results he was looking for. I started with female ejaculation and went from there. I used to have a book on this but it was stolen out of my car (along with a book on buddhism, I hope she's found her bliss). This internet thing is good for learning the street names of actions which can sound so clinical. Squirting was far more revealing than female ejaculation let me tell you, but I found that I was more interested in the tantric massage aspect of this parlor trick. I can make myself squirt but that's not what we're trying to do here. I found a couple of videos that demonstrated the desired results, one from a guy wearing a tasteless shirt and another from a womanizing ass. Womanizing ass and tasteless shirts or not these guys  apparently know what they're doing!

With the videos sent, watched and discussed.  I'd been sitting on my mitts for a week not masturbating (A WHOLE WEEK!), by the time Mr Maus and I got to see each other we were pretty worked up. He'd been locked for a week or so and would be locked for another few days. Some epic teasing was in his immediate future but  only after he shaved me and practiced his newly lessons. My first week of not masturbating (again, after weeks of ruined/denied orgasms), to have him manage my orgasm, to lift my luggage, was fucking mind blowing! I may have gotten close to feeling what he feels. Maybe. I was utterly surprised by how intense the experience was.

Two weeks ago I had an agonizing migraine, instead of our usual late night chat sessions we talked on the phone (which was absolutely lovely, we could stand to do that more often), during that conversation I used a vibrator to force an orgasm in an effort to ease my headache (it didn't help much) and it kind of felt like I was cheating.  No. I really felt like I was cheating, even though we were on the phone talking, it wasn't quite a shared experience. Later in the conversation it became clear he was unaware that I had already performed my therapeutic treatment. I wasn't trying to be sneaky but that's what if felt like after the fact. 

Mr. Maus reminds me that my decision to orgasm or not is absolutely up to me, but he has stated that he likes that I'm playing along with him.  I am continuing to practice abstinence from masturbating, but man it's tough sometimes. He's so hot, just thinking about him revs me up.  It's safe to say that I'm on a self enforced honor system of chastity that parallels Mr. Maus's locked experience.  If we could find or make a suitable daily wear device I'd definitely use it, cuz I probably need it.

All of that to say,
My luggage needs lifting!
Oh man.
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Sunday, November 27, 2011

My Lover's Cock

I thoroughly and lovingly washed my lover's cock today. That is to say the cock that belongs to my lover. Or to put it another way, the cock which is attached to my body which is the property of my lover and is encased in a hard plastic cage was washed as well as could be achieved today. But although it was washed lovingly, it was not allowable to get excited enough for orgasm. No! That is still more than two weeks away...if I'm good and my lover lets me. My lover's cock should be kept presentable so that when she decides to use it it's in tip top shape. She deserves the greatest upkeep. Along with the loving cleansing, there was also a thorough shaving. My lover likes a soft smooth body to touch against hers when she is driving her strap on cock into my soft sissy behind.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

His Clinking Tag Make Me Smile

Not a very exciting update. This week has been kind of mellow. By far the least hot-and-heavy-horny-OMG-were-is-your-cock week we've had in a very long time. I think this is as a result of a couple things, one Mr. Maus was experiencing some discomfort with his CB3K and we've been spending more time than usual together.

When I locked Mr. Maus earlier this week he switched to a smaller ring with his CB3k, since then he had been a little complainy about experiencing pain with the newly fitted ring that was a notch or four  above the expected discomfort of wearing a chastity device. He wanted to give it a few days to see if his junk would settle into be comfortable with it, but as I witnessed his discomfort I unlocked him the other night so he could switch the ring back to a more comfortable one.  He's much less complainy (not complainy at all actually) and in a better mood now.  I'm not into sustained pain that isn't directly related to active play time - I've sustained enough of my own injuries to know that actual lingering pain sucks donkey balls and that is not the kind of pain I want to inflict upon anybody, that's just not how I roll.

The other day I put an ownership tag on his lock, a heart shaped tag that's about the same color as my hair (a silly color), with my name engraved on it. I've quite enjoyed hearing the tag and lock tinkle/clink together as he moves about. Every time I hear it I'm reminded that he has given himself over to me and it makes me beam with joy and bliss. I'm very much in love with Mr. Maus, the clink is a tiny bit of assurance that adds to my contentedness <insert goofy smiley face>.

Recently we talked about what we wanted to get out of the experience of blogging together.  For me it's a place that I can talk about an aspect of my life that I can't really discuss on my regular blog without  outting the both of us. I don't mind outting myself on any topic - I was born waving a freak flag and I hold myself accountable for the most deplorable behaviors, but I'm still working out how to introduce my regular readership to my new freakier than me partner and, or introduce them to the territory we're venturing into. Together we're exploring some intimate space that may not be appropriate to work out with people we socialize, live, camp and work with. We're both hetero-queer (this is nothing new to either of our pools of friends) but the finer aggregates if our kinks, body images, gender and sexual identities are areas of exploration that are frankly none of their business just yet. It'll be unavoidable eventually but for now we have this free place to express ourselves without direct association - a place to try on the outting conversations, let them wash over us, get used to the idea of sharing the intimate workings of our well protected dark spots.

We've been considering stretching our legs to write more lascivious material. Mr. Maus expressed an interest in exploring fantasy writing. I'm probably more inclined to tell it like it is than express my imagination (real life is weird enough). We'll see how this develops, this is a new blog and a new experience for both of us. Anonymity is liberating, but takes a little getting used to =)  However for the next few weeks our blogging will likely be slow or, short or, uneventful as Mr. Maus is finishing up a physical project and moving house, and I'm heading into final projects at school. Denial by being too busy to play. That's some harsh denial! We're both suffering.

Perchaps we'll use the next few busy weeks to introduce ourselves to you. We're real, weird but not really weird.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The second roll of the dice

A 22! Twenty two days! And a smaller ring for the cage too! I hope the adjustment period is short for this smaller ring. Only of an eighth inch smaller and I can definitely feel the difference. It is distracting to say the least. A tighter grip that is nearly painful and increases the pressure for more frequent and longer duration erections--well more like trapped swellings. 22 days! In the inimitable words of Exene and Johnny D, "I must not think bad thoughts!" I know it is taken out of context from the song, but I must not think sexy thoughts! Or the swelling begins.

Dice Roll 11/21/11

Mr. E. Maus just rolled a 22, December 12th will be his next scheduled orgasm. But I have a major research paper due on the 13th. The conundrum. The Mister has offered to wait a day in the better interest of science. He specifically said, "At that point what's one more day?" to which I quietly laughed (on the inside where it counts) considering how whimpery he got when he rolled a 22.

He initially rolled a 5 by the way, and elected to add a couple more variables and roll again, (when he got 22 I laughed, quietly, on the inside where it counts). 

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Service Here Is Great!

I've noticed more and more that Mr. E. Maus wants to hand me more control. Initially this looks like it's just in the bedroom, which is great I'm having a lot of fun with it but where I'm having some trouble is in relinquishing my control of myself. On school days that he's spent the night, he'll offer up "is there anything I can do for you" and usually I come back with, 'if you can fix my hair and brush my teeth for me that'd be great', forgetting to consider that he could make me breakfast.  Later in the car on the way to school, when I report that I'm super hungry he declares that he could have whipped something up for me if I let him.  There have also been offers to fold my laundry - he doesn't live with me, folding my laundry, which doesn't include his laundry is silly (although I would totally do his laundry), he'll fix stuff in my house, bring in the recycling and yard-waste containers, if I asked I bet he'd do any number of things around the house. I'm a little uncomfortable with relinquishing this sense of control in my own life. Perhaps because it's a little out of control and I'm working really hard just to manage looking like I have my shit together.  Letting go of some tasks seems like I would be taking advantage of him, or in the words of an ex, playing him for a sucker. I don't want that. I don't want that at all. There is of course no harm in letting him fold my clothes or handle the garbage bins but the man has three jobs; when I get to spend time with him he's already tired and worn out, seeing him take care of junk around my house makes me uncomfortable.

It could be argued that I'm taking care of him in a way that he is incapable of handling himself. He's handed me the keys to his chastity device essentially handing ownership of his cock over to me; he says it is mine. He's given me final say as to when he can orgasm, I take great joy from teasing the crap out of him as often as possible and, I'm learning to edge him which has been great fun. He has asked me to use him to pleasure myself when I feel like it which is a little harder to do because I feel like I'm pressing myself on him when he doesn't seem to be in the mood to play. This creates a conflict in me. Does he want me to tease/fuck him or not? Am I making him do something he doesn't want to do? If the tables were turned I'd be really bothered by the scenario, but he says part of the fun for him is to be yanked out of his head by the unknown.

I should say there are tasks I'm perfectly comfortable handing over to him, this weekend I had him add attachment points to my bed, it's totally his job to shave my nether regions, as well, I've asked him to participate in a conversation of images, (over on tumblr), illuminating his kinks for me, I post response images to demonstrate I grok his statement.

I think my interim solution is to make a transitional honey-do list that is relationship centric and not household related. Why waste that energy on repairs when I'm horny as hell? 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Keyholder Rolls The Dice

The Mauses practice male chastity as part of our relationship. We are not married and don't live together, and due to our busy schedules with work and school we tend to see each other for less than 24 hours once a week if that; typically Saturday night through Sunday afternoon. During the week we communicate via chats, sharing images and stories with each other. Mr. E. Maus has been interested in and practicing chastity as an aspect of play long before I came into the picture. 

We've known each other for almost eight months (as of this writing) and renegotiated the terms of our relationship only a three months ago when I asked him to decide whether he wanted a relationship with me or not. I stated that he was fucking with my emotions stringing me along and asked that we talk about his red flags. At that time he said had been holding off concerned that I wasn't kinky enough. I corrected him by stating that he'd never asked, my kinks aren't something I wear on my sleeve like most of the people in our community and that I don't really think of my kinks as "kinky" per se, but proclivities.

Mr. E. Maus came to the table asserting chastity as something fun to do along with objectification, forced feminization, mummification and a few other things, some much more extreme than others. When he gave me the keys to his cage I was a little shocked but understood the implication of the offering to a limited extent. Being unfamiliar with many of his kinks, I have spent a couple of months pulling at threads trying to wrap my head around how to best work with his desires to both of our satisfaction. It's been a fun and interesting challenge. Last week he sent me a couple of articles that highlighted aspects of forced feminization, relinquishing control and obedience. We had some brief chat back and forth about what all that that would look like to him - he repeated things he had previously said about liking the idea of having little to no control, not having to think about succeeding, especially failing and being fully in a bodily experience rather than a mental one. As we were swapping articles he pointed out the Kept For Her lock up dice game calculator, I asked if this is something he'd like to try (yes), I told him I would draft up the rules and we would begin this weekend.

The dice roll system will determine how long Mr. Maus would be locked in chastity (he has a CB2K). Our rules are very simple.
  • We use 6 side dice.
  • We roll one die to determine the number of dice to roll. 
  • We roll one die again to determine the number of rolls. 
  • A coin toss to determine if we use an average of the rolls or high roll. 
All of this will determine the number of days he will be locked without orgasm.
  • I put this date on our shared google calendar with set reminders. 
  • I will take him out to tease when we see each other (as per our once a week schedule) but will lock him back up without orgasm. 
  • If we have opportunities to see each other more often, I may decide to tease him at those times. 
  • On tease days he must give me an orgasm before I will tease him. 
  • Punishment for not giving me an orgasm is that I will not tease him on designated tease days. 
  • If he has an accidental emission during teasing he will begin the previously determined locked period (by the last dice roll) again, thereby extending his release date. 
  • On designated day of orgasmic release I will allow him an orgasm only after he has given me at least one BIG orgasm. 
  • If he does not give me an orgasm, he will be locked without release/orgasm. A new dice roll will determine his new release date. 
  • Before we part, he will be re-locked thus beginning his locked period as determined by the dice roll. 
  • If he has an accidental emission independently he must report to me and his release date will be extended by the previously determined locked period (by the last dice roll). 
  • No masturbation of any kind is allowable. 
This weekend Mr. Maus rolled an eight. He's getting off easy!

When I asked him about promoting the dice game to me, he said he liked the randomness and unpredictability of it. The longest he'd been locked is eight days and during that time he managed to masturbate (he just told me this). As a result of learning this information I wrote in some consequences. Using six sided dice the highest possible number of days locked is 36, which to me sounds like nothing considering there is weekly teasing in the program, but it makes him shudder with concern, which just makes me laugh. I'm not a cruel person I swear, but I reserve the right to add in eight or ten sided die - and will likely do so as a consequence of failure to comply with one of the rules.

I'm still learning about tease and denial, milking, ruined orgasms and that kind of play, as I am more familiar with pain, bondage and forced orgasm kind of play. Mr. Maus drives me cra-cra I can't keep my hands off of him and I'm hornier for him than I've ever been in my life, teasing him will be a delight.

Learning how to cooperate on this has been a fun mental challenge for me. Although he has been topping from the bottom pretty effectively, I think I finally have a handle on this and will put a stop to that nonsense ;-) For the most part this is starting to look a little like a Female Led (sexual) Relationship, which I'm mostly okay with. I say mostly because we don't live together and I don't have the the opportunity to run a tight ship. This blog is intended to share my thoughts on learning to engage with male chastity. To be perfectly honest I'm glad we have begun our relationship on these terms. It seems to convey a level of trust an honor that I thoroughly appreciate.