No Telling!

I've been hearing Mr. Maus say that he likes the idea of the unpredictability and, the randomness of the dice game. He has said it enough times that I thought it warranted some consideration and so proposed to him that I do all of the dice rolling and not reveal when he's to be unlocked.  I also suggested that we do a different roll to determine how long he'll be free after a chastity cycle, but he's not so into that one - he said if it can be hours rather than days then he'd go for it.  I'm considering it.  

I'm still wrapping my head around and accepting the denial part of this game. I like to make him cum. I like to bear witness to the wonderful majesty of a man rapt in the throws of an orgasm. I love to hear the hints of panic as he declares "I'm gonna cum!" And then blam-O!  I think it's some other-envy. I don't cum that hard and I wish like hell that I did. To be honest I always wondered why a guy would bother to say he's about to cum... now I understand it's to be told "no don't, not yet" oh if only I'd learned that lesson 20 years ago.

I pick up Mr. Maus later tonight for our regular date night. I haven't given any thought whatsoever to what I'm going to do with him ;-) If he's good and he gives me an orgasm this week, I'll edge him for a (long) while. I love that game. 

The second roll of the dice

A 22! Twenty two days! And a smaller ring for the cage too! I hope the adjustment period is short for this smaller ring. Only of an eighth inch smaller and I can definitely feel the difference. It is distracting to say the least. A tighter grip that is nearly painful and increases the pressure for more frequent and longer duration erections--well more like trapped swellings. 22 days! In the inimitable words of Exene and Johnny D, "I must not think bad thoughts!" I know it is taken out of context from the song, but I must not think sexy thoughts! Or the swelling begins.

Dice Roll 11/21/11

Mr. E. Maus just rolled a 22, December 12th will be his next scheduled orgasm. But I have a major research paper due on the 13th. The conundrum. The Mister has offered to wait a day in the better interest of science. He specifically said, "At that point what's one more day?" to which I quietly laughed (on the inside where it counts) considering how whimpery he got when he rolled a 22.

He initially rolled a 5 by the way, and elected to add a couple more variables and roll again, (when he got 22 I laughed, quietly, on the inside where it counts). 

The Service Here Is Great!

I've noticed more and more that Mr. E. Maus wants to hand me more control. Initially this looks like it's just in the bedroom, which is great I'm having a lot of fun with it but where I'm having some trouble is in relinquishing my control of myself. On school days that he's spent the night, he'll offer up "is there anything I can do for you" and usually I come back with, 'if you can fix my hair and brush my teeth for me that'd be great', forgetting to consider that he could make me breakfast.  Later in the car on the way to school, when I report that I'm super hungry he declares that he could have whipped something up for me if I let him.  There have also been offers to fold my laundry - he doesn't live with me, folding my laundry, which doesn't include his laundry is silly (although I would totally do his laundry), he'll fix stuff in my house, bring in the recycling and yard-waste containers, if I asked I bet he'd do any number of things around the house. I'm a little uncomfortable with relinquishing this sense of control in my own life. Perhaps because it's a little out of control and I'm working really hard just to manage looking like I have my shit together.  Letting go of some tasks seems like I would be taking advantage of him, or in the words of an ex, playing him for a sucker. I don't want that. I don't want that at all. There is of course no harm in letting him fold my clothes or handle the garbage bins but the man has three jobs; when I get to spend time with him he's already tired and worn out, seeing him take care of junk around my house makes me uncomfortable.

It could be argued that I'm taking care of him in a way that he is incapable of handling himself. He's handed me the keys to his chastity device essentially handing ownership of his cock over to me; he says it is mine. He's given me final say as to when he can orgasm, I take great joy from teasing the crap out of him as often as possible and, I'm learning to edge him which has been great fun. He has asked me to use him to pleasure myself when I feel like it which is a little harder to do because I feel like I'm pressing myself on him when he doesn't seem to be in the mood to play. This creates a conflict in me. Does he want me to tease/fuck him or not? Am I making him do something he doesn't want to do? If the tables were turned I'd be really bothered by the scenario, but he says part of the fun for him is to be yanked out of his head by the unknown.

I should say there are tasks I'm perfectly comfortable handing over to him, this weekend I had him add attachment points to my bed, it's totally his job to shave my nether regions, as well, I've asked him to participate in a conversation of images, (over on tumblr), illuminating his kinks for me, I post response images to demonstrate I grok his statement.

I think my interim solution is to make a transitional honey-do list that is relationship centric and not household related. Why waste that energy on repairs when I'm horny as hell? 

The Keyholder Rolls The Dice

The Mauses practice male chastity as part of our relationship. We are not married and don't live together, and due to our busy schedules with work and school we tend to see each other for less than 24 hours once a week if that; typically Saturday night through Sunday afternoon. During the week we communicate via chats, sharing images and stories with each other. Mr. E. Maus has been interested in and practicing chastity as an aspect of play long before I came into the picture. 

We've known each other for almost eight months (as of this writing) and renegotiated the terms of our relationship only a three months ago when I asked him to decide whether he wanted a relationship with me or not. I stated that he was fucking with my emotions stringing me along and asked that we talk about his red flags. At that time he said had been holding off concerned that I wasn't kinky enough. I corrected him by stating that he'd never asked, my kinks aren't something I wear on my sleeve like most of the people in our community and that I don't really think of my kinks as "kinky" per se, but proclivities.

Mr. E. Maus came to the table asserting chastity as something fun to do along with objectification, forced feminization, mummification and a few other things, some much more extreme than others. When he gave me the keys to his cage I was a little shocked but understood the implication of the offering to a limited extent. Being unfamiliar with many of his kinks, I have spent a couple of months pulling at threads trying to wrap my head around how to best work with his desires to both of our satisfaction. It's been a fun and interesting challenge. Last week he sent me a couple of articles that highlighted aspects of forced feminization, relinquishing control and obedience. We had some brief chat back and forth about what all that that would look like to him - he repeated things he had previously said about liking the idea of having little to no control, not having to think about succeeding, especially failing and being fully in a bodily experience rather than a mental one. As we were swapping articles he pointed out the Kept For Her lock up dice game calculator, I asked if this is something he'd like to try (yes), I told him I would draft up the rules and we would begin this weekend.

The dice roll system will determine how long Mr. Maus would be locked in chastity (he has a CB2K). Our rules are very simple.

• We use 6 side dice.
• We roll one die to determine the number of dice to roll. 
• We roll one die again to determine the number of rolls. 
• A coin toss to determine if we use an average of the rolls or high roll. 

All of this will determine the number of days he will be locked without orgasm.

• I put this date on our shared google calendar with set reminders. 
• I will take him out to tease when we see each other (as per our once a week schedule) but will lock him back up without orgasm. 
• If we have opportunities to see each other more often, I may decide to tease him at those times. 
• On tease days he must give me an orgasm before I will tease him. 
• Punishment for not giving me an orgasm is that I will not tease him on designated tease days. 
• If he has an accidental emission during teasing he will begin the previously determined locked period (by the last dice roll) again, thereby extending his release date. 
• On designated day of orgasmic release I will allow him an orgasm only after he has given me at least one BIG orgasm. 
• If he does not give me an orgasm, he will be locked without release/orgasm. A new dice roll will determine his new release date. 
• Before we part, he will be re-locked thus beginning his locked period as determined by the dice roll. 

Amendments: 

• If he has an accidental emission independently he must report to me and his release date will be extended by the previously determined locked period (by the last dice roll). 
• No masturbation of any kind is allowable. 

This weekend Mr. Maus rolled an eight. He's getting off easy!

When I asked him about promoting the dice game to me, he said he liked the randomness and unpredictability of it. The longest he'd been locked is eight days and during that time he managed to masturbate (he just told me this). As a result of learning this information I wrote in some consequences. Using six sided dice the highest possible number of days locked is 36, which to me sounds like nothing considering there is weekly teasing in the program, but it makes him shudder with concern, which just makes me laugh. I'm not a cruel person I swear, but I reserve the right to add in eight or ten sided die - and will likely do so as a consequence of failure to comply with one of the rules.

I'm still learning about tease and denial, milking, ruined orgasms and that kind of play, as I am more familiar with pain, bondage and forced orgasm kind of play. Mr. Maus drives me cra-cra I can't keep my hands off of him and I'm hornier for him than I've ever been in my life, teasing him will be a delight.

Learning how to cooperate on this has been a fun mental challenge for me. Although he has been topping from the bottom pretty effectively, I think I finally have a handle on this and will put a stop to that nonsense ;-) For the most part this is starting to look a little like a Female Led (sexual) Relationship, which I'm mostly okay with. I say mostly because we don't live together and I don't have the the opportunity to run a tight ship. This blog is intended to share my thoughts on learning to engage with male chastity. To be perfectly honest I'm glad we have begun our relationship on these terms. It seems to convey a level of trust an honor that I thoroughly appreciate.