Monday, November 28, 2011

How Long Ago Was That?

Eight days? It's only been a whisker past a week since Mr. Maus gave me an orgasm and I'm crazy horny. Unfortunately it'll be a couple more days until we see each other again.

As I said in my last post we have spent quite a lot of time together in the last week, the most since we took a trip together at the end of summer (that was two weeks of cabana boy service bliss). But we've been kind of in our own heads with our responsibilities, we had some really nice down time together doing stuff we never get to do like hang out on the couch watching an actual television set and, soaking in a jacuzzi with cocktails talking about art. It was nice that our only focus wasn't sex - I'm usually the driving force behind initiating sex and, oddly I wasn't in the mood to use him, kinda rare.

When I latched onto playing the male chastity game with Mr. Maus I silently vowed to myself that I would cease my own masturbation during the times that we were apart (unless it was to ease cramps or a migraine). Prior to telling him to lock we'd had three weeks of ruined orgasms. This may be fine in his world of kink, but in mine I found it incredibly frustrating, for all the work I was doing to tease, edge,  peg and, play I found that I did have an expectation to be treated to an orgasm. I'm kicking down way more than dinner here!  Denial was not a game I'd been playing and had not considered applying to myself.  I was a little pissed off actually. In the better interest of checking my attitude, I told Mr. Maus to lock and then quietly decided that I would not masturbate or orgasm without him present. I was interested in experimenting with abstaining to see if it made a difference in my own levels of pleasure. I delight in how completely wracked with ecstasy he gets when I play with him. I'm envious of the body state of pleasure he gets into, it's amazing and beautiful to see and feel his body convulse under the anticipation of my touch.  Could I achieve this ecstatic state if I just held off a little?  

Mr. Maus had expressed that he wouldn't be satisfied if I didn't have big obvious orgasms. I tried to convince him that I was indeed having small orgasms, many of them, (prior to the weeks of ruined/denied orgasms just described). He wasn't having it, he expressed a certain pride in rocking my world.  This though, left a lot for me to communicate while in the throws of his awesome touch.  Moreover I'm a heavy vibrator user, shifting gears in my head and body to get off manually was proving to tricky territory, even if it was at the hands of my most desired lover. I assure him that practice and time would lead us to mutual satisfaction. With Mr. Maus locked I knew I'd have his attention to detail; he needs to learn to read me.  

Being the woman I am, a more visual communicator than talker, I set to the world wide web looking for resources I could share with him to express what would very likely give him the results he was looking for. I started with female ejaculation and went from there. I used to have a book on this but it was stolen out of my car (along with a book on buddhism, I hope she's found her bliss). This internet thing is good for learning the street names of actions which can sound so clinical. Squirting was far more revealing than female ejaculation let me tell you, but I found that I was more interested in the tantric massage aspect of this parlor trick. I can make myself squirt but that's not what we're trying to do here. I found a couple of videos that demonstrated the desired results, one from a guy wearing a tasteless shirt and another from a womanizing ass. Womanizing ass and tasteless shirts or not these guys  apparently know what they're doing!

With the videos sent, watched and discussed.  I'd been sitting on my mitts for a week not masturbating (A WHOLE WEEK!), by the time Mr Maus and I got to see each other we were pretty worked up. He'd been locked for a week or so and would be locked for another few days. Some epic teasing was in his immediate future but  only after he shaved me and practiced his newly lessons. My first week of not masturbating (again, after weeks of ruined/denied orgasms), to have him manage my orgasm, to lift my luggage, was fucking mind blowing! I may have gotten close to feeling what he feels. Maybe. I was utterly surprised by how intense the experience was.

Two weeks ago I had an agonizing migraine, instead of our usual late night chat sessions we talked on the phone (which was absolutely lovely, we could stand to do that more often), during that conversation I used a vibrator to force an orgasm in an effort to ease my headache (it didn't help much) and it kind of felt like I was cheating.  No. I really felt like I was cheating, even though we were on the phone talking, it wasn't quite a shared experience. Later in the conversation it became clear he was unaware that I had already performed my therapeutic treatment. I wasn't trying to be sneaky but that's what if felt like after the fact. 

Mr. Maus reminds me that my decision to orgasm or not is absolutely up to me, but he has stated that he likes that I'm playing along with him.  I am continuing to practice abstinence from masturbating, but man it's tough sometimes. He's so hot, just thinking about him revs me up.  It's safe to say that I'm on a self enforced honor system of chastity that parallels Mr. Maus's locked experience.  If we could find or make a suitable daily wear device I'd definitely use it, cuz I probably need it.

All of that to say,
My luggage needs lifting!
Oh man.
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